People wipe their bottoms online

Today’s online banality from Think with Google was the final straw that didn’t quite break the camel’s back but did make it want to howl with derision.  See if you can spot the flaw in this:

Political decisions are made online, before voters even hit the booth. Political consultants Julie Hootkin of Global Strategy Group and Frank Luntz of Luntz Global Partners discuss new voter behavior data and what it means for political and brand marketers.

Other recent email alerts inform me:  Consumers watch TV online.  Your customers buy their groceries online.  We are becoming a nation of gourmets online.  We now learn about illnesses – online.  People read the newspaper online.  Who knew?  I don’t want to hear any more about the new and unlikely things people are doing online.  Why?  Because it’s bloody obvious.  Stop Press.  The Internet exists. So people do lots of things they used to do offline, online.  No shit?

I also don’t want to hear about the increasing share of advertising revenue which is going….online.  Or the proportion of time my children are spending….online.

Yes.  I get it.  Now just leave me alone.  And before you say it – yes, I know, the irony of writing this content in this particular medium is not lost on me.


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